Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi
by Bad Notions
Summary: When Kenshin and Aoshi die in the battle with Shishio, everything changes. Not only must Kaoru, Sano, and Misao face the pain of loss, the alteration in reality causes disaster to strike Saito's life as well. Partially told from Kaoru's POV.
1. An Insignificant Event

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

  
  


Summary - When Kenshin and Aoshi die in the battle with Shishio, everything changes. Not only must Kaoru, Sano, and Misao face indescribable pain, the alteration in reality causes disaster to strike Saito's life as well. Partially told from Kaoru's POV.

  
  


Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

  


Note - Thoughts are in italics.

  
  


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Chapter 1. An Insignificant Event

  
  


Tsuki ni muragumo, hana ni arashi.

-Japanese Proverb

  
  


Clouds over the moon, a storm over blossoms. My Otousan used to say that all the time after my Okaasan died. It means that misfortunes in life often occur when we are the happiest.

I never really understood what he meant back then. I never knew how much a person's happiness could come to depend on one individual. Neither did I guess at how great a sorrow could follow a loved one's passing.

I understand now....

  


*****************************

  
  


The reality we know -

  
  


Tokio stood over the stove preparing a pot of miso soup. _Not exactly Hajime's favorite, but he needs to build up his strength,_ she mused to herself. Her husband had finally returned two weeks ago, burned and gashed from battles that were as fierce as any he fought during the Bakumatsu. But he had returned alive and that was all the mattered. _Now if he would just be a good patient for once._

  


She frowned as she searched the counter for the seasonings she wanted to add. It was growing too dark to see anything clearly. Giving up on finding anything in the dim light, she located a box of matches and lit a little western-style oil lamp she kept handy for emergencies.

A warm glow filled the kitchen, allowing her to continue her work.

Light footsteps drew her attention to the doorway. Eiji, the young boy Hajime had taken in after Shishio's men murdered his family, entered the room.

  


"Tokio-san, Tsutomu is awake. I think he needs to be changed," the boy told her, scrunching up his nose.

  


"Arigatou, Eiji. I'll see to him," Tokio said with a gentle smile. She followed him out of the kitchen, and went down the hall to her son's room.

  


She had not noticed that she left a cleaning rag a little too close to the stove. A small spark escaped and landed on the cloth, igniting it. It had barely begun to burn however when Saito limped into the kitchen.

  


"Kuso!" Grimacing slightly from his barely healed leg injuries, the cop rushed over to the counter and snatched an edge of the rag that had yet to catch fire. He quickly tossed it into the bucket of water they kept next to the backdoor.

  


A gasp came from the other side of the room. Raising his amber gaze to his wife's frightened face, he let his lips twist into a teasing smirk. "Tokio, it's not necessary to burn the place down. If you want a new house you should just say so."

  


With a relieved little laugh, Tokio crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him. "My hero saves the day again. Now what exactly do you think you're doing out of bed?"

  


"Hn. I think I've lain around long enough. Besides, I'd be too afraid to sleep now," Saito said, arching an eyebrow.

  


"Hajime!"

  


Grinning broadly, he leaned down and gave his fuming wife a kiss. The near accident was forgotten. Such a small fire would have been of no concern even if he had not been there to put it out.

  


Thankfully he would never know otherwise. Beside them and completely unnoticed, the oil lamp flickered menacingly.

  
  


~ TBC ~

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Down Comes the Rain

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

  
  


Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its character, etc.

  
  


Note - Thoughts are in italics.

  


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Chapter 2. Down Comes the Rain

  
  


What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night.

-Crowfoot

  
  
  


A week after the battle with Shishio. The reality we know -

  
  


"Oi! Jou-chan how's he doing?"

Kaoru looked up to see Sano leaning against the side of the doorframe. "About the same really. He still hasn't woken up at all, but at least he isn't getting any worse. Megumi-san's medicine seems to be helping. What about you though? Should you already be out of bed?"

  


"Feh. Forget about me. I'm fine. Kenshin's the only one you need to worry about." The spiky-haired youth glanced down at the rurouni's sleeping face. A small smile formed on his lips. "He really is amazing, ne? Not only did he manage to defeat Shishio and keep his promise to bring Aoshi back, but I think he was able to talk some sense into the Seta kid."

  


Kaoru smiled in reply, brushing a strand of hair out of Kenshin's eyes. "Hai... If only..."

  


"Jou-chan?"

  


"I just wish Kenshin didn't always try to carry everyone else's burdens for them. We almost lost him this time. If anything were to happen to him... I..." The young woman bowed her head, a single tear rolling down her check. "I don't know what I would do."

  


Sano nodded his understanding. He decided that he might have to give the rurouni a good pounding when he finally woke up if he did not confess his feelings for Jou-chan soon. It was about time the two got together and had a little happiness in their lives.

  


All at once a loud rumbling shook the entire building. From the roof above came the distinct pattering sound of falling rain.

  
  


******************************

  
  


The same place and moment. A different reality - 

  
  


Kaoru stared numbly out at the falling rain. _It would be raining today,_ she thought bitterly. It was appropriate really. The weather matched her own mood.

  


Yahiko sat next to her, his knees tucked up under his chin and arms wrapped around his legs. He was trying to put on a brave face for her, but she had caught him crying when he thought no one was around. 

  


Glancing to her right, she saw Misao absently fidgeting with her pack. Gone was the genki ninja girl she had met just over a week ago. Her friend had not even said a word since the funeral yesterday. Kaoru wondered again if they were doing the right thing by taking her to Tokyo with them, but Misao was determined to put as much distance between herself and the place where her whole world had crumbled as possible.

  


The sound of scuffling feet made her turn around. Two men had come into the room behind her.

  


One of them was Sano. Something had definitely changed about the spiky-haired young man. The cocky smile and devil-may-care attitude were noticeably absent. Instead he walked like a man defeated, with sagging shoulders and gaze cast to the ground. Kaoru could not think of one time since he came back from the battle with Shishio that he had been able to look her in the eyes. It pained her to see him that way._ He acts like it was all his fault somehow. But what could he have really done when even Kenshin couldn't..._ She broke the thought off, unable to deal with the subject yet.

  


The other man moved slowly, obviously still pained by the deep wounds in both his legs. Narrow amber eyes studied her with surprising compassion. 

  


"We've made all the required arrangements. It's time for us to go Kamiya-san," Saito Hajime spoke softly.

  


"Arigatou, Saito-san. Really, it's not necessary for you to go through all this trouble for us. You should be home resting..."

  


A white-gloved hand was raised against her protest. "Himura asked me to watch over you if anything happened to him. The least I can do is escort you home safely."

  
  


Kaoru smiled sadly at the cop's use of Kenshin's proper name. Usually he would have referred to the rurouni as "Battousai", but considering the circumstances he was doing his best to be respectful of their feelings. He had not even called Sano an "ahou" or used the hated nickname "itachi musume" he had given to Misao.

  


"Anou, as long as it's no trouble to you or to Tokio-san."

  


"Tokio can manage without me for a few days. Kami knows she's had to do so for much longer periods of time. Comes with the territory of being a cop's wife." His lips twisted up into a little smirk of amusement. "If anything, she was angry with me for not staying in bed nursing my wounds longer. I believe she rather enjoyed fussing over me."

  


"Oi! Can we talk about this on the boat? It's going to leave without us if we don't hurry up," Sano broke into the conversation with a barely audible mutter.

  


"Hai. Let's go. I promised to bring Kenshin home," Kaoru said softly. A single tear rolled down her check.

  


A short time later the group had made their way to the docks and boarded the boat that would carry them back to Tokyo. They watched the city of Kyoto slip away from them as the small vessel made its way into deeper water. They hoped that they were leaving behind the misfortunes that seemed to have plagued their lives since the day Okubo-san had come to the dojo begging for Kenshin's help.

  


Misfortune had indeed been left behind. And it was about to come knocking on Saito's door.

  
  


~TBC ~

  
  
  



	3. A Soul in Shadows

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

Note - Thoughts are in italics. 

******************************************************************************

Chapter 3. A Soul in Shadows

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted — nevermore!

-Edgar Allan Poe

The rain finally stopped just before sunset. I stepped out onto the deck and made my way over to the railing to watch the river's shore slip by me. Just as life was slipping by me.

I was no longer truly a living spirit. True, I breathed. I spoke and moved. But an all-consuming nothingness dwelt within me. Kenshin had not been the only one to die at the hands of that monster, Shishio. When he struck down the rurouni, he destroyed a piece of me as well. It may have been only a small piece, but it was the most important piece of me. Without it, I was nothing more than the shade of a living being. My soul was in shadows.

Being preoccupied with my morbid musings, I did not hear the sound of footsteps crossing the wooden deck or feel the presence of another behind me. I only became aware of Saito when he leaned over the rail beside me, his eyes also on the passing scenery. I stiffened automatically, resigned to yet another lecture on how eventually everything would be alright again or how someday I would smile when I remembered Kenshin's gentle smile instead of feeling grief.

Of course the cop noticed and comprehended my reaction immediately. Years as both a police officer and as one of the Captains of the Shinsengumi had left him with an uncanny ability to read the secret thoughts and emotions of others.

"Hn. You can relax, Kamiya-san. I didn't come out here to give you some pretty speech about how someday you would magically "get over it". Only ahous who have never experienced a loss can believe that. You never "get over it". It only gets a bit easier to live with as time passes. The wounds to the soul may heal, but like with those to the body, you'll always bear the scar. Always."

His words caused me to blink a couple times in surprise. They were brutally honest and blunt, holding none of the sugar-laced phrases of sympathy and comfort I had grown to hate. I looked up into his eyes and for a moment I thought I saw the trace of some old sorrow, but it was gone so quickly I decided my mind had played a trick on me.

I gave a slight nod to show my understanding. Turning away, I stared out at the rapidly darkening horizon once more.

There was a small scraping noise followed by a hiss as a tiny flame leapt to life. Saito was lighting one of those horrid cigarettes of his. I wondered how his wife stood them. Under different circumstances I would have smiled as I realized why he even spoke to me. _Should have known his real purpose for coming out here would be to grab a smoke._

I'm not sure how long we stood there before I thought to ask a question that had been bothering me ever since the night he and Sano returned, bearing the dead with them.

"Saito-san, I don't mean to pry, but why exactly are you doing all this? Why do you take the time to help us now that it's all over? It just seems so unlike the person I took you for, and I can't help but feel the reason is not because you really want to be here. So why?"

He did not reply right away, and I thought he had no intention of answering. It was sort of a shock when he did finally speak.

"Though I may be a police officer now, at heart I am and always will be a samurai. As such, my word and my honor are the same. I'm sure you understand this, because it was the same for Batto... I mean Himura," he corrected himself. "Let's just say that is my reason and leave it there, ne?"

I shook my head in confusion, knowing he would not elaborate. "Anou, whatever the reason, domo arigatou gozaimasu for everything." I bowed deeply to show my respect as I said the words, then turned and walked away.

**********************

The Wolf watched the stricken young woman return to her cabin. When the door had closed firmly behind her, he returned to staring at the passing view. _Shimatta, I miss Tokio and Tsutomu already. Eiji too, actually, _he thought as he idly tossed away his cigarette butt. Really, it was an annoyance to be away from home right now. Especially with such a depressed little group of people. He could not even amuse himself by irritating the Ahou._ Anou, that's what I get for being so flippant with my answers._

***************************

One week before. Three men are on their way to battle...

None of them spoke as they trudged along to their destination. Each was wrapped up in his own private thoughts and concerns.

Himura Kenshin stopped suddenly, head bowed. Sagara, being a little bit ahead of the others, did not notice his friend's actions and kept walking down the dusty road, but Saito halted as well and looked over at the rurouni impatiently.

"Now what is it?" he growled.

"Saito, I think we can both agree that there has been no love lost between us over the years, and you are the last person I would want to ask a favor of, but...," he looked up with a slight smile, shaking his head at his own nonsense. The Wolf merely quirked an eyebrow and waited for him to continue. "What I want to ask you is, would you look after Kaoru-dono and the others if anything should happen to me?"

The cop scowled. "Don't be an ahou. Why would I want to waste my time babysitting your baka friends? I've got better things to do. You want someone to look after the Kamiya girl? Then don't get yourself killed."

Saito made to walk off, but a slender hand reached out and grabbed his arm. For someone who looked so delicate, the swordsman's grasp was surprisingly strong.

"Saito... Onegai."

The Wolf groaned. "Can't you ask that Tori-atama you insisted on dragging along?"

"Iie. Sano is a good man and I trust him with my life, but I know that he would more than likely blame himself if something bad happened. I'm not sure he would be up to taking care of things completely on his own. You don't know about his past like I do, de gozaru. He once saw someone that he truly admired slaughtered and was unable to do anything to help. That memory haunted him for years. He blamed himself for being too weak. If something were to happen now, he... I just can't place such a burden on him, de gozaru. So again I'm asking you, from one samurai to another, for you word that you will look after them if something goes wrong. There is no one else I can ask this of, de gozaru. Onegai."

A heavy sigh escaped Saito. "Fine. Whatever it takes to make you shut up and get a move on. We still have a mission to accomplish, in case you've forgotten." With that, the cop strode briskly away, trying to catch up with the spiky-haired youth who had yet to realize the others were no where around him.

Kenshin gave his own soft little sigh. He truly hated entrusting anything to his old rival, but felt relieved that at least now he could be sure his friends would remain safe. Regardless of what happened to him. Once more he set off down the road that would lead him to his destiny.

~ TBC ~

  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. The Battle Both Won and Lost

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

Note - Thoughts are in italics.

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Chapter 4. The Battle Both Won and Lost

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost.

-J. R. R. Tolkien

The heat of battle. The reality we know-

"I'll bring the law of nature to you!"

The words chilled Sagara Sanosuke's soul. Only once before in his life had he felt so utterly useless to anyone. He swore then it would never happen again, but now...

Himura Kenshin backed away from the flaming sword, but a gloved hand reached out and grabbed him by the front of his gi. "Hold it! I'm not finished with you yet!"

The rurouni was being held suspended in the air, Makoto Shishio's blade mere inches from his throat. A odd look of recognition and fear came over his best friend's face.

"Didn't I tell you, you're better off going out with a bang?"

_Not good! I've got to do something!_ Sano began to run toward the pair. "Kenshin!"

Suddenly, Shishio drew his blade across his own glove rather than the former manslayer's neck. It exploded in an awesome display of heat and light.

Sano stopped dead in his tracks, his arm thrown up against the intensity of the blast._ He had gunpowder in his glove?!_

With a sickening smile the villain let the rurouni's lifeless body fall away. A large burn mark marred his chest. His open eyes stared blankly at the sky above.

The possibility that he had just lost another person he admired filtered into Sano's mind. "Ken....shin...."

And Shishio laughed as the red sun glared down on them through the dark smoke that hung low over the mountain stronghold.

****************************

A week and a half after the battle with Shishio. A reality that went wrong-

Takani Megumi stood on the pier awaiting our arrival. As I descended the passenger ramp I could see her eyes were red from recent tears.

"Okaerinasai," she said with a wane smile. Her gaze drifted from me to inspect the rest of our little group. All at once her entire body became rigid and her lips twisted into a displeased frown. "What's he doing here?!"

"Oi! Ease up there Megitsune. Saito is just here to help with the funeral arrangements," Sano spoke up before the cop could make a reply.

The doctor shot another disapproving glare at the Wolf. "Anou, if Kaoru is willing to tolerate his presence after what he did to Ken-san, then I suppose I'll just have to learn to also. However, when we all get back to the dojo I want a full explanation as to what just the hell happened in Kyoto!"

With that, Megumi turned to the newcomer among us. "You must be Makimachi-san. Kaoru told me all about how you helped them in her letter. Gomen nasai for your lose."

"Misao," the ninja said without raising her head. "Call me Misao."

"Alright Misao. You may call me Megumi. We should be going now. Everyone else is waiting for us back at the dojo."

Her statement was followed by a general course of agreement. Saito and Sano stayed behind to claim Kenshin's body and our luggage while the rest of us began the slow trudge home.

************************

It was late in the evening before the cop and the ex-gangster walked through the gate. With surprising patience, Megumi waited until Tae had made them a bite to eat before demanding to be told the full story.

Firmly averting his gaze from all of us, Sano began the long, painful tale in a barely audible whisper. "As you know, all of us were forced to fight against members of the Juppon Gatana before we could face Shishio. Those were hard battles and we were all pretty banged up, but Kenshin got the worst of it. Not only did he have to fight Tenken, but he fought Aoshi as well. He lost more of his strength in those battles than I realized at first. Even so, he was determined to face Shishio without anyone's help.

"Things were going pretty badly from the beginning. It wasn't just that Kenshin was exhausted or that Shishio was so much stronger, but that monster had a really odd sword. Every time he struck something it burst into flames. Kenshin was getting both cut and burned. The creep even bit him!

"What Shishio did next, it caught me completely off-guard. It just happened so fast! One moment, Kenshin was avoiding another sword stroke and the next he was being held off the ground by that lunatic. Shishio had his sword against his throat, mocking him. I tried to help him. I really did. But before I could take more than a few steps, that monster....he....he...."

"Shishio slit Himura's throat," Saito finished for him in a flat, emotionless voice.

Megumi stirred angrily in her spot. I am sure she wanted to say something biting to the cop just then, but thankfully she refrained. After a few moments, Sano regained his composure and continued his story.

"I couldn't move. It was just like I was paralyzed with shock. My eyes didn't want to believe what they were seeing. But it was real....

"Shishio was gloating over Kenshin's body, acting like he had the whole thing won. That's when Saito burst through the doors. When I saw his Gatotsu connect with that creep's head I thought for sure that would bring him down. Yet Shishio didn't fall; he just started laughing again. Turns out he was wearing a metal headband under all those bandages.

"Afterwards things went pretty much the same way they had for Kenshin. He blocked every move Saito made. Once he dropped his guard and almost paid for it with a Gatotsu at close range, but he managed to bring his sword up just in time."

"Hn. Not to mention the fact that he stuck a couple fingers in the wound on my shoulder," the Wolf growled. Obviously he was still irritated about the way the fight had gone.

"Anou, it must have been enough to make him take Saito seriously because he didn't want to play around anymore. So he raised his sword and ran it across his glove. I thought he was crazy until it blew up and I realized he had been hiding gunpowder in them the whole battle. The blast knocked Saito several feet away. I wasn't even sure if he was alive or not.

"It all made me so angry! You know how I don't stop to think when I'm like that. I just ran at Shishio and tried to punch that grin off his face. Of course I didn't do very well at all against him. The one blow I managed to connect was the one that broke my fist. Then the creep batted me into the wall as if I were an insect to him.

"Everything probably would have been over for us then and there if Aoshi hadn't shown up. He'd recovered some from his fight with Kenshin and stepped in to try to set things right. Not that he had much more of a chance beating Shishio than Kenshin or Saito had, but he already knew no one was going to beat that creep on their own. So he kept him busy, buying Saito enough time to recover.

"Once Saito was able to get back on his feet it all began to turn around. He and Aoshi kept attacking Shishio together from different directions. Finally, Shishio got so caught up in trying to fend off one of Aoshi's moves that he left himself wide open to Saito's Gatotsu.

"We all thought it was over then. It should have been over. Shishio had fallen and our side won. But we'd forgotten about Hoji. He had been standing off to the side with a gun hidden under his jacket the whole time.

"I'd just gotten back to my feet when I saw him pull it out and aim it at Saito's back. I was too far away to stop him, so I shouted a warning. Aoshi must have heard me because he shoved Saito out of the way and ended up in the path of the bullet himself. I guess it was just his way of making up for what happened to the Oniwabanshuu. He wasn't going to allow anyone else on his side to go out that way.

"I got to Hoji before he could fire off another round and slugged him unconscious with my good fist. Then I kicked the gun off the building so that Yumi wouldn't be tempted to try to use it on us. When I turned back around, Saito informed me that Aoshi was dead. And that's what happened."

No one else spoke for a long time. Even though everything Sano told us was so hard to bear, somehow it was something we needed to hear. We needed to know why they weren't here with us now. Not that knowing made the pain any less. 

It was Saito who at last broke the silence. "Perhaps it would be best if we all turned in now. There is a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

Everyone seemed to remember just how late it was then, and those who were not staying overnight made ready to leave. We walked them out and bade them good night in muffled tones before seeking our own futons.

I do not know how well the others slept that night, but my own rest was plagued with nightmares. And the worst thing about them was that they did not end when I awoke.

~ TBC ~

  
  



	5. Tears

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

Note - Thoughts are in italics.

******************************************************************************

Chapter 5. Tears 

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

-Harriet Beecher Stowe

Long after everyone else had gone to sleep, Misao found herself wide awake. Abandoning her futon, she left her room and went to stand out on the veranda. Looking out she saw a thousand stars twinkling in the inky black.

Once she had loved to stare at the night sky. It had always filled her with such peace and inner-harmony. Tonight was different. Somehow the stars seemed cold and devoid of life. She wondered if she would ever take joy in them again.

Her thoughts drifted back to the moment in the battle with Kamatari when she almost gave up. Hannya had come to her then with a message. His words still echoed through her mind.

_"The Battousai has kept his promise. Aoshi-sama will be returning to us."_

_Those words gave me such strength then. I just knew I'd see Aoshi-sama again. But that wasn't what you meant, was it Hannya? You meant he was returning to you and the others._

Unnoticed, a lone tear slid down her check glistening like the silent stars above.

****************************

Try as I might, I have never been able to clearly recall the two days following our return to Tokyo. That time is just a blur of monotonous tasks in my memory. I do know that Saito took care of all the little details of the funeral for us. I often wondered how I would have coped without his aid then, when the tears never seemed to cease falling.

On the third day we laid Kenshin to rest. It was a quiet, simple ceremony with only his closest friends - and one old enemy - present. Tae and Tsubame were the first ones to drift away since they were needed back at the Akabeko. Kenshin's shishou Hiko was the next to leave. It actually surprised some people that he had made the journey from Kyoto to attend the funeral. Gensai-sensei led Megumi and his granddaughters out right afterwards. Sano stayed just a moment longer before stalking away like he hated the entire world. Glancing around, I realized that only Misao and Yahiko remained at the grave-side with me.

Saito had wandered off to another part of the cemetery. Curious, I left the others to finish saying their goodbyes and walked over to him. The cop was staring down at a simple headstone bearing the name Okita Souji.

"Strange is it not that two men who opposed each other so bitterly in life should lie so close together in eternity?"

"Nani?"

"Okita was Captain of the First Unit of the Shinsengumi and our strongest sword. As such he fought against Himura on many occasions during the Bakumatsu."

"Oh. Did he die in the war?"

"Iie. He would have preferred that I think. For one such as he, it would not have been a tragedy to die a samurai on the field of battle. His life was stolen from him by an enemy that could not be conquered, an illness called tuberculosis. He passed away in a hospital here in Tokyo, alone."

"How awful! But why was he alone? Why weren't any of his...."

"We had just lost the war. Everyone he knew was either dead or in hiding from the new government. I did not even know where they had taken him in those final days before the Shinsengumi were disbanded. It took several months for word to reach me that he had passed on."

"It sounds like you really respected him."

"More than respected. Okita was one the very few men I have ever known that I proudly called a friend. It's been too long since my last visit. I should have come by here before."

Even though he spoke to me, I could tell by his eyes that he was actually somewhere in the distant past with Okita. Perhaps facing the notorious Battousai in battle once more? At last he heaved a heavy sigh. "You should say your final goodbyes before we go. What happened to Sagara?"

"Sanosuke left a little while ago. I guess he just needed some time alone."

Saito gave a little nod. "I'll wait for the rest of you by the gates," he said. Turning on his heel, he strode away from his friend's grave. I watched him go, then returned to my friends.

************************

Sano returned to the dojo just as we were sitting down to supper. For once no one complained about the quality of my cooking. After the meal, we sat around the table and spoke of little concerns, pretending as people tend to do that nothing had changed even though we knew our lives were forever altered.

"So Misao, what were you planning to do now that you'll be staying here in Tokyo?" Sanosuke asked from his lazy reclining position. He still refused to look me in the eye, as if he had committed some heinous crime, but at least he was speaking to us now.

"Honestly I haven't thought about it much. I might could see if Tae needed any help at the Akabeko. I grew up in a restaurant after all, so I should be able to handle that at least."

"Oh, that reminds me! I promised Tsubame I'd help her with her chores tomorrow. I won't be able to do any of my morning exercises, but I promise to train extra hard in the evening," Yahiko told me.

"That's fine. It will take a while to get back into the rhythm of things around here again."

"Are you still planning on catching the first train out tomorrow?" Misao asked Saito, who had remained silent throughout the conversation.

"Hai. It's about time I returned home. There are a few things I need to do before I have to report back to my job."

"Anou, arigatou gozaimasu again for everything you've done for us. You and your family are always welcome in my home. I hope someday that I can repay the debt I owe you," I said.

The cop nodded his acknowledgment and stood up. "I had best get some sleep if I want to leave on time. Oyasuminasai."

"Oi! You never gave me the chance to fight you again. I still had something to prove," Sano said as he walked past him. 

"Are you still worried about that, Ahou?" came Saito's reply as he exited the room.

"Nani?!" Sanosuke fell over in the floor. "Don't tell me we're back to that again," he groaned.

I allowed the ghost of a smile to play across my lips, if only to disguise the tears.

_ *************************_

  


We had only retired for the night a short while before when someone began to bang on the front gates. Saito and I reached the front shouji at the same time.

"Who could be calling at this hour?"

"Stay here. It might be trouble," the cop answered over his shoulder as he stepped outside. I watched from the veranda as he opened the gate and confronted another police officer who was patiently waiting on the other side.

"What is it? What are you bothering me at this time of the night for?"

"Gomen nasai to disturb all of you, but this telegram arrived for you from Kyoto. I'm afraid it's about your family."

"My family?"

"Hai, Saito-san. I....I'm afraid...."

Impatiently Saito snatched the paper from the other cop and brought it into the light. All the color drained from his face as he read it and he sat down heavily on the porch.

"Oi! What's going on Jou-chan?" Sano asked from the doorway. Yahiko and Misao were trying to peek around the sides of him.

"Gomen nasai, Saito-san. I...I should be getting back to the station." With a brief nod at the rest of us, the policeman hurried off into the darkness.

"Saito-san?" I questioned after several minutes had passed without him saying anything. He looked up at me with the eyes of someone who suddenly found themselves completely lost and did not know what to do about it.

"There was a fire at my house."

Misao and I gasped at the same time. "Kami....," Sano whispered.

"Is everyone alright?" Misao ventured.

"My son is fine. Eiji was able to get out with him before the fire spread too far. But Tokio... My wife didn't make it out. She stayed behind to try to put out the flames and.... She just didn't make it out...."

Saito's jaw clenched and he closed his eyes against whatever emotion was assaulting him just then. The telegram was crumpled as his hands balled into tight fists.

I shot a glance at Sano and he inclined his head slightly to show he understood. Turning around, he herded Misao and Yahiko back into the house and shut the shouji behind them.

Walking across the porch to stand beside him, I was startled by the soft, alien sound I heard coming from the cop. It was one I never would have expected to hear from this man of all people. The sound of someone crying.

~TBC ~


	6. Haunted

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

Note - Thoughts are in italics.

******************************************************************************

Chapter 6. Haunted

Yet we have gone on living, Living and partly living.

-Thomas Eliot

Saito left on the first train to Kyoto the next morning. He hardly said a word to us as he departed, but that was to be expected. 

I felt a deep guilt inside for having been the reason he was away from home when disaster struck. Most likely his wife would not have died had he been there. Perhaps he would have been if I had not selfishly followed Kenshin to Kyoto. I wondered if he hated me for that.

I offered to help by returning to Kyoto and doing whatever was necessary to ease the burden of grief for him, as he had done for us. But he would not allow it. "Stay here in Tokyo, Kamiya," he had said. "Stay here with your friends where you belong."

I would have liked to think that there was censor or condemnation in his voice. That his eyes were filled with rage or scorn. That would have been something. There was nothing in either. They were merely cold and....something I could not quite identify. Perhaps they were haunted?

My tears now were not just for myself, but for the Wolf as well. Saito was a strong person. He had cried all the tears he would allow himself in the first moments of lose and shock. The rest of his grief would be buried somewhere deep inside. Pain and sorrow were things he would not show because to him they represented weakness. But there was no emotion left in him without them.

As I watched him board the train I remembered a tale someone had told me many years before. It was about a reed and an oak that grew side by side. One day a storm came and its winds buffeted them both. The weak and slender reed bent before its fury and was spared. The mighty oak stood its ground and was broken in half. A shudder ran through me and I prayed Saito would not be like the oak.

I thought that would be the last time I ever saw the Wolf of Mibu. Little did I know that the path of fate would bring us together once more....

*************************

Sanosuke stood on the bridge watching the sun reflect off the water. His mind kept going back to that moment when everything ended.

_If only I had done something then! Sure I couldn't beat Shishio, but I might have been able to stop it. Now Kenshin is gone and it's all my fault! I can't get anything right! He was right to leave me behind. That's why he did it. Because he knew I'd be useless to him. That's why he asked Saito to look after them. He didn't trust me to protect them. I couldn't even protect myself. He knew I'd mess everything up. I'm useless. I can't get anything right...._

"Kenshin..... I.... Gomen Kenshin. Gomen."

Shaking his head to clear the vicious thoughts, he turned and stomped away. His hands were in his pockets and his gaze on the ground in front of him, yet everywhere he went people instinctively moved out of his path. They could feel the rage and frustration radiating from the troubled youth and it made them tremble in fear. When he had passed they stared after him in awe, noting the kanji on his back - "Aku". They felt certain danger had just walked by and considered themselves lucky to have escaped his wrath.

**************************

As the days passed it became more clear just how much everything had changed. Sano came by the dojo less often. Days, even weeks, would go by without any sign of him. I grew even more worried when I heard a rumor of a young man roaming the darker streets of the city who would fight anyone for money. I prayed it was someone else they spoke of.

Misao took work at the Akabeko. To customers she played the sweet, charming young woman, but her smile masked the stricken soul within. Yet despite her pain, she was quietly determined to go on with her life. To move forward and past the tears. To seek a new destiny for herself.

"Aoshi-sama and Himura died to protect our future. I don't want to disappoint them and make their sacrifices worthless by spending my entire life sorrowing. I have to live for them," she told me.

Not that she exactly became her old, cheerful self. At night I would see her standing outside, gazing at the distant stars. I never disturbed her in those moments of solitude. What she contemplated with the heavens above only the moon may know. There is no doubt that at times she no longer existed in the present, but rather in her memories of the past with Aoshi. I'm sure the last words he ever spoke to her still haunted her: _"I don't ever want to see your face in front of me again..."_

Yahiko became more dedicated to his training than ever before. With Kenshin gone and Sano's gradual disappearance from our lives, he seemed to think it was up to him to carry the burden of protecting everyone. He became my constant shadow, always there lending a hand with the chores (a task he had always avoided whenever possible in the past) or warning off potential trouble-makers. Of course he did not entirely cease to be one himself. He still called me "Busu" and insulted my cooking on a regular basis. Still I could not deny that he matured considerably during those days.

As for myself, I continued to go through the motions of living. Once a week I would make a trip to the cemetery to put flowers on Kenshin's grave and burn incense to honor his spirit. I would tell him all the stupid little problems we were having or how well Yahiko was doing. I shared my concerns for Sano. How odd the comfort we find in sharing our secret thoughts and feelings with cold tombstones! How odd that we find it so easy to tell the dead things we could never voice when they were alive.

Because I had nothing else I directed all my energy into rebuilding the reputation of the Kamiya dojo. About a month after our return to Tokyo it finally gained two new students. Gradually the number increased to seventeen. Even as I grieved, I could not help the small surge of pride in knowing that the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu was finally being recognized as a serious sword style.

Regardless of my strides to overcome tragedy, there were things that continued to overwhelm me. It can be a difficult task to continue living in a home one was accustomed to sharing with another who has passed. We do not realize just how much we are a part of our abodes.

Sometimes as I sat on the porch I would glance up expecting to find Kenshin washing the laundry, but he was never there. It always shocked me and it would take a minute or two to remember that he was gone. I did not realize how accustomed I had grown to his almost daily trips to the market until I caught myself on several occasions watching the gate expectantly for his return. Often when approaching the kitchen I found myself pausing, waiting for his cheerful voice to call out that supper would be ready soon. Sitting alone, it seemed if I just waited long enough a shouji would slid open to reveal smiling amethyst eyes. Though he only lived there a short time, every corner of the dojo was alive with his memory. 

As hard as we tried to "live", there were times for all of us when we were more like ghosts than people. On certain days I could imagine those on the street hurrying their steps as they passed the dojo gates. In my mind I could hear the children whispering to each other. "Don't go in there," they would say. "That place is haunted."

~TBC ~

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Sano's Despair

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

Note - Thoughts are in italics.

******************************************************************************

Chapter 7. Sano's Despair

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.

-Henry David Thoreau

One morning I awoke to discover the summer had almost passed. I groaned, knowing what a long, cold winter it would be.

It had been three weeks since we last saw Sanosuke. A suspicion gnawed inside me that he had no intention of ever returning this time. Making a trip to the market after breakfast, I bumped into Megumi who confirmed my worst fears.

"Kaoru! Just the person I wanted to see. Have you heard from Sano lately?" the doctor inquired.

"Iie. Why Megumi? You seem upset. What's wrong?" I had noticed her face had grown distressed upon hearing my answer.

"This morning several men were brought into the clinic, some with very serious injuries. They had gotten into a fight with someone who was paid to intimidate them for some Yakuza leader. They're all alive and will recover, but that's not the point. One of the men described his attacker to the police and.... Kaoru, the description he gave was of Sanosuke."

"Are you sure? Surely you've made some mistake? Maybe you misunderstood...."

"Look you sweaty little Tanuki Musume, how many men do you know with brown "tori-hair" wearing a red headband and a white outfit with the kanji for "aku" on the back?!" Megumi screeched, growing impatient with my denials. Though she never admitted it, everyone knew she cared for the young man greatly. "And then there's the other thing the man said. He told them that the man called himself Zanza. Kaoru, didn't you once tell me Sano used that name before he met Kenshin?"

I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand. "Iie! It can't be! Why did he go back to that?! How could he do something like that after everything we've been through already? Does he think he's the only one who's suffered?!" It was my turn to get angry now, and I solemnly vowed to track Sanosuke down and make him explain how he could betray everything Kenshin did for us.

Megumi did not respond right away. She stood beside me with a bowed head and arms folded across her chest. Finally she looked up again. "I've been thinking a lot these past few days and I've come to a decision," she announced. "Kaoru, it's time for me to leave Tokyo. I've put it off for far too long already. I need to go back to Aizu and try to find my family again. If there is any chance of locating them, it will be there."

"Megumi! Onegai... I..."

She waved off my protest before I could finish. "It's something that I have to do. Besides, this city holds too many memories for me now." I understood what she meant. The two most important men in her life had both left her in one fashion or another.

Not waiting to give me an opportunity to argue anything further, the beautiful doctor turned and walked away. There was no talking her out of it, so we gave her a small farewell dinner the next evening. It was not exactly a joyous occasion, but at least everyone got a chance to say goodbye to her. Everyone but Sano. Yahiko had tried to invite him only to learn he had abandoned his old residence the same way he had abandoned us. I knew she was brokenhearted at not having the opportunity to say farewell to the Tori-atama, but she covered it as best she could and tried to make us all believe she was looking forward to her new life. She left the very next day.

  


*************************

Yahiko and I searched the entire city for Sanosuke without any luck. No one at any of his usual hangouts claimed to have seen him recently, but we were certain they were simply covering for him. We went to Katsu, only to learn he was as worried as we were. He had heard the rumors as well and when he confronted Sano about them the two had quarreled. He had not heard from his best friend since.

Hearing how he had dropped yet another person from his life raised my ire even further, and I swore to ring the Tori-atama's neck as soon as I found him. _Maybe Saito was right after all. Maybe he really is an 'Ahou',_ I thought darkly.

After another week of useless wandering in circles, we were forced to give up the search. Sano obviously had no intentions of being found. And so we had yet another pain to bear.

***************************

  


Misao stalked through the crowded room, oblivious to all the hoots and whistles that came her way. Her mind was focused only on her mission: find Sanosuke and kick his sorry tail for making Kaoru cry.

The kendo instructor and Yahiko had tried to find him and turned up empty-handed. She however was a trained ninja of the Oniwabanshuu, so it had not been long before she discovered his new address. It truly was not surprising that it turned out to be one of the back rooms of a gambling hall.

Someone reached out and clutched her arm. "Oi! Come on musume! Don't be like that. You and me, we could get to be real good friends. Why don't we go someplace where we can get to know each other, ne?" the drunk leered at her.

The next second he went flying into the wall and was knocked out cold. The rest of the men made way for the young woman. It seemed to them that in this case discretion was definitely the better part of valor.

Misao made it to the back area without further incident and proceeded down the right hand corridor. At the last door she rapped lightly. It just a few seconds it swung open.

Sanosuke's eyes went wide with surprise. "Shimatta! Itachi what are you doing here?! Don't you know what sort of place this is? How the hell did you find me anyways?"

"Me?! You're the baka who actually decided to live here! And did you forget that I'm the Okashira of the Oniwabanshuu? What sort of ninja would I be if I couldn't even find one baka Tori-atama?"

"Nani?!" the young man growled in disgust at the mention of his hated nickname.

"Look, I didn't come down here to trade insults with you all day. I just thought you should know what you're doing to Kaoru and Yahiko with this running-off-and-becoming-a-fighter-for-hire thing of your's. They're scared, Sano! They're terrified that they're losing you too. How can you do that to them?! Don't you realize how much your friends need you right now?! Why are you doing this? Is it because of what happened to Himura? Sano, he would never want..."

"Shut up! Don't talk to me as if you knew what Kenshin would want! Just tell Jou-chan and Yahiko you couldn't find me. They deserve better than to have to be friends with someone like me. Trust me, I'm the last person they need in their lives right now," the spiky-haired man said, anger and guilt glinting in his soft brown eyes.

"Sanosuke...."

"Just go Misao." He slammed the door in her face, leaving the young woman to make her way home alone. However she was not quite finished with him yet.

"Fine. I'm going. Just so you know, Megumi isn't here anymore. She left for Aizu a week ago," she hollered through the obstacle at him before striding away.

**************************

Sano lay on his futon staring up at the ceiling. He felt sorry at not having the chance to wish Megitsune goodbye, but he knew it was for the best.

_Itachi Musume doesn't know what she's running off at the mouth about. I'm the last thing Jou-chan and Yahiko need right now. I just stood there and let Kenshin die! How can anyone need me?! Kenshin was right. I'm useless._

_ It's better this way. This is all someone like me deserves. I don't know why he bothered to save me from myself in the first place,_ he thought bitterly.

***************************

As ususal when a problem felt too big for me to handle, I went to visit Kenshin's grave. I poured out my heart to the cold stone that bore his name.

"Kenshin, I'm so worried about Sanosuke. Did you know he's decided to break all contact with me and Yahiko? He never comes to the dojo or the Akabeko anymore. And even worse, he's went back to calling himself Zanza again. He's working as a fighter-for-hire right now.

"What should I do Kenshin? How can I help him? How can I make him see that none of it was his fault? I'm so afraid he's going to get himself killed. I wish you were here Kenshin. We really need you right now."

Sadly and lovingly I touched the kanji that formed his name before climbing to my feet. I stood there a short while longer, praying for some miracle. Just as I was about to leave I noticed the strangest thing. A pure white butterfly fluttered from out of nowhere and perched on Kenshin's headstone. I had never been one to believe in superstitions, but I found myself gasping a little at the sight of it. White butterflies were supposed to be the spirits of the dead. Shaking my head at my own silliness, I turned and headed back for home.

  


*****************************

  


Saito sat at his desk late into the evening, going over the paperwork. It seemed work was all he ever did anymore, but that was fine with him. It kept his mind clear of other thoughts.

Something fluttered in front of his face suddenly, causing him to jerk his head up. A white moth (or was it a butterfly? He had never been able to tell much difference.) was floating in the air before him. The cop growled at the annoying insect.

"Go on! Get out of here! I don't have the patience for this!" he said, swatting at the bug with one of the folders. He missed. The insect lazily made its way to the window and flew out into the night.

"Hn. Baka insect," he muttered as he went to put the folder back in the pile. Glancing at the name on it he saw that it was the one which held the paperwork for the Shishio incident, something he had specifically avoided thinking about because of other thoughts it would eventually lead him to. "Shimatta. I should have killed that bug," he hissed.

~TBC ~

  



	8. Kaoru Finds Her Strength

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

Note - Thoughts are in italics.

******************************************************************************

Chapter 8. Kaoru Finds Her Strength

Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy.

-Felicia Hemans

  


Misao stood on the riverbank watching the reeds dance in the breeze. Over and over the cold voice whispered the same phrase in her mind. _'I don't ever want to see your face in front of me again...'_

Normally she could dispel the harsh memory, but there were times when the last words Shinomori Aoshi ever spoke to her would not be silenced. She wondered if he had regretted them at the very end. Had he ever wished to take back what had been said in a moment of anger and madness? Would he have given such a thought voice had he known it would be the last thing he would ever say to her? Or was that his deepest, truest feelings about her?

Heaving a sigh, Misao lifted her face to the blue heavens above as if imploring them for an answer. Not that she believed one would ever come. She had accepted long before that his last actions in life were all that mattered. In the end he sacrificed himself so another could live. That is what she would choose to remember; the one hateful remark between them was to be forgotten.

Yet her heart of hearts refused to let go of the bitterness and hurt. Those heinous words were the one wound inflicted on her soul that refused to heal. 

Suddenly she noticed a flutter of tiny wings out of the corner of her eye. Glancing around she espied a white butterfly hovering in the air beside her.

Misao gasped. She had never seen one before, but she knew white butterflies were supposed to be the spirits of those who had passed on. Completely unconcerned of any danger, the insect flew up into her face and landed on her nose.

"Aoshi...," she whispered, a small smile appearing on her face.

After a short while the tiny butterfly took off again and was lost to view in the treetops. With a lighter heart Misao turned around and walked slowly back to the dojo.

*************************

  


Sano stood amongst the sprawled out forms of the men he had just beaten. Disregarding their pained moans, he stared at the ground with his fist balled up at his sides. It did not matter how many cheap thugs he pounded into the dust; the one person he needed to defeat had been beyond his ability to touch.

Knowing his mind was about to start running in the same old circles again, he decided the best cure was to find the nearest tavern and drink himself into oblivion.

Taking a step forward he lifted his head and was promptly smacked in the face by something small and white. Jerking back in surprise he saw a white butterfly flitting around in the air. Sano growled softly at the insect. "Shimatta! Leave me alone bug!" he muttered stomping off down the alley.

The butterfly floated there another moment, then fluttered up into the sky.

***************************

Mishima Eiji walked the streets of Tokyo without noticing the crowds around him. It had been three days now since he and Tsutomu had arrived here to live with Saito-san's sister and brother-in-law. They seemed to be fairly decent people, even if the husband was a bit jealous of Saito's abilities and courage and made snide remarks about his lowly job as a cop.

He wished there were some way to convince Saito-san to join them in Tokyo. The government could find another agent for the Hokkaido mission. Eiji had begged to go with him but was told it would be too dangerous to be dragging kids along. Even worse, the young boy had not received an answer to his question about when the cop would return. Since he was going undercover to bust a smuggling ring, the boy suspected the older man believed it might be years before he came back.

_If that's so, will Tsutomu even remember him? He's been crying for him most everyday now, but in time he'll forget about his father just as he forgot about missing Tokio-san. How could he not? He's just a baby! Doesn't that bother Saito-san at all? How could anyone willingly become a stranger to his own child? It just doesn't make sense! _

His attention was abruptly snagged by something brushing against his cheek. He glimpsed a little white butterfly flitting away right before he smacked into someone.

"Gomen nasai," Eiji apologized quickly, turning around to face a young boy about his own age with messy black hair and dark eyes. He wore a yellow gi and dark green hakama and carried a shinai on his back. A bucket of tofu was clutched in his hands.

"Oi! Watch where you're going baka!" the kid hollered.

Eiji felt himself grow angry in turn. "'Oi!' yourself! I said gomen didn't I? Just what's your problem anyway, ahou?"

"Ahou? Who are you calling an 'ahou', baka?"

"You ahou!"

All the noise caused a young women in a yellow kimono to step out of her gate and glower at both of them. Eiji thought she was very pretty, with big sapphire eyes and long, dark hair gathered into a high ponytail by an indigo ribbon. "What is going on out here? Yahiko, I hope you have a good explanation for screaming at other people in the middle of the street?" she demanded.

"It's nothing Kaoru. Baka here just doesn't know how to look where he's walking."

"Stop calling me 'baka', ahou!"

"Eiji?" another, more familiar voice unexpectedly interrupted..

Spinning around the young boy recognized the young ninja girl who had helped him months before. "Misao!"

"You too know each other?" the woman, Kaoru, inquired.

"Hai! Himura and I met him on the way to Kyoto," Misao explained while giving the other two a sharp look. She didn't want to accidently have something slip that would be painful for the boy. He had lost his entire family to Shishio's madness and the wounds were every bit as fresh as the ones they suffered.

Fortunately Kaoru must have remembered the story. "So you're the young man I heard so much about? But why are you here in Tokyo? I thought you were staying with Saito-san? Is he here too?"

Eiji hung his head again before replying. "Iie. Tsutomu and I are staying with some of his relatives for a while. He has to go to Hokkaido and thought it was too dangerous for us to go with him right now."

"Nani?!" The young woman was stunned by what she heard. _How can Saito even think of going off now when his son needs him more than ever?!_ "Where is he now Eiji?"

"Kyoto I think. He was supposed to leave the day after tomorrow."

Without another word Kaoru turned on her heel and stomped into the dojo. The other three could only stare after her in puzzlement.

"Anou, I guess I better head back now. It was good seeing you again, Misao," Eiji said politely to the ninja. "Ja ne!"

"Yeah, ja ne Eiji. I hope you'll visit us sometime."

Yahiko just ignored him and went to march into the dojo after his sensei. A moment later they heard his startled voice ring out from within.

"Kaoru?! What is it? Where are you going?"

The young woman stepped back out into the street, a small bag clutched in her arms. "Where do you think Yahiko? I'm going to Kyoto!"

"To Kyoto? Why would you want to go.... Iie! You're not serious! You're not going to try to talk Saito are you? Kaoru, you know he's not going to listen to you! You'll just make him mad! Kaoru?" Misao tried desperately to dissuade her, only to find the other woman would not even listen.

"Maybe he won't listen, but I have to try. He helped us and paid for it dearly. Now I have to do what I can to help him. I'll be back soon. Ja ne!"

Without another word, she headed off in the direction of the train station. A short time later she was on the last train bound for Kyoto.

_Onegai Tokio-san, lend me your strength. I know this isn't what you would want for your family. Help me to stop him from making a terrible mistake he'll end up regretting someday. Onegai,_ she pleaded as Tokyo began to fade into the distance.

~TBC ~

  
  



	9. The Wolf's Choice

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

Note - Thoughts are in italics. 

******************************************************************************

Chapter 9. The Wolf's Choice

Meeting is the beginning of parting.

-Japanese Proverb

  


It was still dark when the train rolled into Kyoto. Foolishly I had rushed off with no idea where Saito was currently staying and since the police would hardly turn his address over to a stranger, that left me with but one option. Hurrying to the Aoiya, I sought the aid of the Oniwabanshuu.

They must have been more than a bit surprised seeing me on their doorstep at that hour. Naturally they assumed something was wrong with Misao. Quickly reassuring them that everything was fine, I explained to them my reason for coming.

Okina seemed to have doubts about my chances of convincing the Wolf not to leave for Hokkaido, but he graciously agreed to locate him for me. Within the hour they were able to track him to a small inn not far from the police station. As soon as dawn broke, I made my way to the address they had given me.

To say that he was caught off-guard would be a bit of an understatement. Saito was a man who did not like surprises, so my sudden appearance at his door put him in the foulest of moods.

"Shimatta," he muttered. "Hn. Let me guess. Those interloping ninjas from the Aoiya? What exactly do you want, Kamiya?"

Ignoring both his scowl and the rude way he spoke to me, I immediately began to berate him. "Eiji told us what you were planning to do, Saito! You can't just go running off to Hokkaido! You just can't! Don't you realize how much your son needs you right now?! He'll be lost without you! I..."

With a sneer, the cop abruptly cut me off. "Think what you will, but just because my personal circumstances have changed, my duty to Japan has not. More importantly, since the Meiji era began, there have been many who have sought my life in revenge for my role in the Shinsengumi. By remaining close to my son I put his life at constant risk. That is why I have always chosen to stay as far from my home as possible, making only brief visits. It is the only way to protect my family. Tokio accepted this fact. Now that she is gone, it is even more imperative that I keep my distance. I've already lost my wife; I will not lose my child as well."

"But Saito, it wasn't an enemy who took Tokio-san from you! The fire did that. It doesn't matter where you go or what you do, Saito. You can protect your family from your enemies, but not from life. Living is always dangerous. The best thing you can do for your son is to stay close to him and help him through it all. I don't think this is what Tokio-san would want for her family."

Something in the atmosphere changed as I said those words and as I looked into his eyes, I felt myself become suddenly afraid. Oh, I knew I had overstepped some invisible boundary with that one! Saito might have been willing to put up with my other prattle, no matter how much it irritated him, but claiming to know what his wife would think made him furious. I cringed at the expression on his face, fully expecting him to strike me.

The Wolf, however, was truly the master of himself. Unlike lesser men, he did not allow his hand to fly of its own accord, though he trembled slightly in his effort to stay his wrath. When he finally regained control of his temper, he bit out a response.

"Do _not_ presume to tell me what my wife would have wanted, Kamiya. Battousai might have been willing to put up with your naive nonsense; _I_ am not. Lest you forget, I was fighting in the Bakumatsu while you were nothing more than a small child. In truth, you are _still_ a child, regardless of what others have allowed you to believe about yourself. So do not _ever_ lecture to me about life again, _little girl._"

"Saito..."

"Go _home_, Kamiya. I have to get ready for my journey."

The tone of his voice made me want to scurry away like a frightened mouse, yet something held me there. "I might not be as old as you, but that doesn't mean I don't know anything, Saito. I know that you're making a mistake leaving your son like this. He _needs_ you. If you really have to go to Hokkaido, at least take him with you."

The Wolf's amber eyes widened slightly. I suppose most people would have followed his orders without question. My nature was such that it would not allow me to be bullied easily. I can, when pushed, become very determined. Others would use the word stubborn. In any case, I never gave up on something I believed in without a fight. 

My resistance to his will seemed to both astonish and amuse him. With a small smirk gracing his lips, the cop folded his arms across his chest. He was seeking to overpower my courage with his physical presence, I soon comprehended. Balling my hands into fists to help steady my nerves, I straightened my back and stared him directly in the eyes.

"Hn. And who exactly would look after him while I'm working? If you're so very wise give me an answer for that one. To do my job here in Kyoto during the best of times is not easy. Do you have any idea how difficult it has become while raising a small child alone? Neither I nor Tokio had family living here in the city, so there has been no one in whose care I could leave Tsutomu. And it has proved to be quite expensive to hire someone reliable to attend to him. So you see, even if I were to remain here I would have to eventually send him to live with my family in Tokyo anyway."

"Then why don't you transfer there? What's wrong with coming to live in Tokyo?"

Sighing, Saito quirked an eyebrow. "You're certainly the inquisitive one, aren't you? If you must know, my relationship with my own kin is rather...strained. Particularly with my brother- in-law who is the most pompous ahou I've ever known. I fear the baka-yarou might not have long to live were I forced to listen to his ravings on a daily basis. As even you can surely see Kamiya, it is in everyone's best interests that I simply stay away."

"Everyone's best interests but Tsutomu's," I said sadly, bowing my head to hide the tears starting in my eyes. I was almost ready to give the whole thing up as hopeless when an idea came to me. Reflecting on it now, it had to be the most impulsive decision I ever made in my life. Even inviting Kenshin into my home had taken more thought. 

Jerking my head up to meet the cop's stern gaze, the words tumbled out before I had fully considered what I was offering. "Anou, if your troubles with your own family are too great, then allow me to help you. There's plenty of room for you, Tsutomu, and Eiji at my dojo and it wouldn't be any trouble at all to watch your son for you while you're at work. I look after Gensai-sensei's granddaughters all the time. Onegai Saito, at least consider the alternative I'm giving you."

At first there was only a stunned silence as the Wolf could only gape at me. His disbelief was etched into every line of his handsome face. Finally, he was able to find his voice again.

"Gomen nasai, Kamiya-san, but I cannot accept your offer. As I told you before, I'm unwilling to let my presence put my son's life in danger. If I were to do as you suggest I would be putting you and your friends in jeopardy as well. Is that something you really want to go through again? Think about it for a moment. How much of your pain was caused by allowing Himura to take shelter in your home? Do you really wish to invite further misfortune into your life? Domo arigatou gozaimasu, but for your sake, I'm going to have to decline." His voice and eyes held sincerity and a wry smile touched his lips. "Beside, I believe your friends might have a few issues with sharing an abode with me."

An odd feeling of disappointment crept over me. Biting my lip, I steeled myself for one more argument. "It's not like they have any say in the matter, Saito. It's _my_ dojo. And like I said before, you can't protect anyone by avoiding them. Even if you leave, your enemies could still make your son a target. At least in my home, he would have some measure of protection. Can those he is living with now offer the same? I might not have your strength, but I'm not helpless either.

"You say that Kenshin caused all the trouble in my life without knowing the whole story. Did you know that the first time we met, he had to save me from a man who wanted to kill me? _Me_, Saito. He had nothing at all to do with Battousai, other than that he was using his identity to scare people. Hai, there were times when his past caused problems for us all, but I wouldn't even be here now if it weren't for him! Also, there were a lot of good times that I would have missed if he hadn't stayed. Even though it hurt to lose him, I have no regrets because of that. And even knowing that it would end the same way, I would chose to do it all over.

"As painful as it was to lose Kenshin, I would never have known joy if I'd refused to take the chance. You can't tell me Saito that you don't feel the same about Tokio-san. All I'm asking of you now is that you take that same chance with your son. I'm sure whatever comes both of you will be happier for it in the long run."

Exasperated, Saito ran an impatient hand through his hair. "So naive... I wish I had the luxury of viewing the world as you do, Kamiya-san, but unfortunately I'm a father. I have an obligation to put my child's safety above my own petty wants and desires. Gomen, but my decision cannot be altered. Someday you will understand. I have to finish packing now. Saiyonara, Kamiya-san." The words rang with finality, telling me that nothing would dissuade him.

Shaking my head in my wish to deny his choice, I felt the tears begin to flow. Too horrible! Far too horrible that a broken family should be split asunder once more. Unable to face the tragedy of it any longer, I turned and fled from the impassive face of the Wolf of Mibu.

***********************

_Kuso! Why did she have to come make things more difficult than they already are?!_

Furiously, he shoved the few belongings he had left into his bag. Reaching around to the table behind him, he went to grab the only memento of his wife the fire had spared: a hairpin decorated with a floral design he had bought her when they married. Just as his fingers were wrapping around it, something softly brushed against his hand.

Startled, the Wolf spun around expecting to find someone else in the room. There was no one present; the culprit had been another of those damned white bugs. _Where the hell are they all coming from?_

Glaring at this new intruder, he absently rubbed his hand just where it had touched him. It almost felt the way Tokio used to brush it with her own slender fingers whenever she wanted to emphasize a point. Very clearly Kamiya's words echoed in his mind. _'I don't think this is what Tokio-san would want for her family...'_

"Shimatta! What useless musings," he grumbled, thrusting the hairpin into the suitcase. Pointedly he ignored his unwelcome 'visitor'.

Glancing around to see if he had left anything out, he spotted something crawling on the painted screen across the room. Examining it closer, he realized it was yet another of the white butterflies. "The place is infested with them!"

All at once it occurred to him that he had not noticed the details of the screen's artwork before. Whoever had crafted it decorated the object with figures of samurai.

The samurai. They had all vanished in this Meiji era. As far as he knew, every man who could claim to be such was gone now. Kondou had been executed by the new government and Hijikata had fallen in the rebellion in Hokkaido. Okita passed away from his illness. Rumors said that Harada died in the Ueno War. No one had been able to tell him what finally became of Nagakura, the Captain of the Second Unit. Now even their mortal enemy, Himura Battousai, was gone.

It was a depressing thought, making him feel old and useless. So much for pride, honor, and duty.

Duty. Words of the Battousai drifted back to him suddenly. _'...I'm asking you, from one samurai to another, for your word that you will look after them if something goes wrong.'_

Angrily he pushed the memory aside. He had already fulfilled that obligation, had he not? Kamiya and her friends were seen safely home and the details of his burial taken care of for them. Surely that was all that was required for honor's sake? 

The pricking of his conscience suggested otherwise.

***********************

The Wolf's dreams that night were uneasy. Every time he closed his eyes, a clear image of his wife's face came to him. The sadness in her eyes spoke more eloquently than words what was troubling her. She didn't want Tsutomu to be alone.

Resolved to his own course, he turned away from Tokio's condemning stare only to meet the scowling visage of his old enemy. Though his lips never moved, Himura's voice came to him as if from a great distance. "Remember your promise, Saito."

Jerking awake, the cop sat up and brought a hand to his face. Every nerve seemed to be on edge and he knew he would not sleep anymore. Abandoning his futon, he grabbed his cigarettes and lit one.

Kamiya's visit had upset his orderly world more than he would have thought. Normally he never second-guessed his decisions. He was beginning to understand what Battousai had seen in the girl.

_So what are you going to do, Saito? Surely you're not going to let the little Tanuki influence you now?_

With a sigh, he took one last drag from his smoke and snuffed it out. Time to get dressed. There were some new arrangements to make....

**********************

Early the next morning, I was once more at the train station. In some ways it felt every bit as depressing as the last time I made this return trip to Tokyo. It's frustrating to see someone making an error and be able to do nothing to stop them.

For such a large man, the Wolf could move extraordinarily quietly when he choose. I did not know Saito was beside me until he spoke.

"At least it's not raining this time."

"Saito?" My head flew up so that I could meet his amber eyes. "So I guess you're taking the train to Osaka?"

The Wolf smirked. "Actually, I thought I'd take the one to Tokyo. That is, if your offer is still open?"

"Nani?!" It was completely spontaneous. I just felt so happy that this one thing had turned out alright, that I launched myself at the cop and caught him in a crushing hug. The odd, strangled sound he made told me he was not exactly pleased.

Releasing him with an embarrassed little smile, I watched the play of emotions on his face in amusement. Confusion, annoyance, and suspicion all seemed to be warring for control. In the end, he settled for dispassion.

"I suppose I should take that as an affirmation?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Hai. And Saito, you won't regret it, I know. You'll see this was the right path."

"Hn. Not according to my aching ribs, Kamiya-san," the cop quipped.

"Onegai, if we're going to be living under the same roof, call me Kaoru. I don't see any need to be so formal."

The Wolf regarded my through narrow, disdainful eyes. "Iie! Absolutely _not_," he replied.

My smile widened. "'Iie' what?"

"You can forget about it. It's never going to happen."

"What's not 'going to happen'?" I pressed innocently.

"Hn. Fine. If you _must_ you can call me Hajime. But you're the only one!" he growled out as the conductor called for everyone bound for Tokyo to begin boarding.

And so it was that as the trees were showing the first traces of fall Saito Hajime, the Wolf of Mibu, returned to Tokyo with me to begin what would prove to be an interesting new life.

~TBC ~

  



	10. The Wolf and the Rooster

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

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Chapter 10. The Wolf and the Rooster

What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.

-Benjamin Disraeli

  


The trip back home to Tokyo was spent mostly in silence. Saito - or as I now referred to him, Hajime - stared blankly out the window the majority of the time and I know he was not seeing the passing forest or fields. Observing him from out the corner of my eye as I pretended to do the same, I took the opportunity to inspect him and began to grow concerned with what I found.

The cop appeared much older somehow than when I last saw him. The little lines around his eyes and creasing his brow had deepened with weariness and care. Unguarded, his amber gaze seemed hollow and his shoulders slumped with the invisible weight of sorrow and guilt. Unexpressed grief had begun to take its heavy toll on the Wolf.

My inspection had not gone as unnoticed as I supposed, for the cop finally glanced over at me. "You can stop worrying, Kaoru. I'm fine."

I startled, not having realized Hajime was aware of my scrutiny. After a moment, I nodded and joined him in watching the passing scenery. I did not believe for an instant his assertion that he was "fine", but arguing about it would only anger him. I needed to let talking him into coming to Tokyo be victory enough for one day. There was plenty of time ahead of us to address other issues.

Our train pulled into the station very late that night. Despite the hour, the cop insisted we collect the boys from the house of his sister, Mizuno Katsu. It was an extremely rude thing to do, which of course was the entire reason he wanted to go just then. He knew that it would aggravate his brother-in-law, while giving him an excuse to make a quick escape.

It was Mizuno-san himself who answered the door. He was a short, thin man who tried to carry an air of importance and intellectual superiority. I say _tried_ because he failed miserably and only came across as petty and unpleasant.

As expected, the man was shocked to find Hajime on his doorstep since to his knowledge the Wolf should have been on his way to Hokkaido. Surprise quickly gave way to annoyance as he impatiently waved us inside. As I stepped in the door, he looked me over and gave a disdainful sniff at my "poor" attire. Unfortunately for the little man, Hajime had noticed his snobbish gesture. Moving to tower over his brother-in-law with a glowering face, he roughly demanded that Tsutomu and Eiji be readied to leave. With an odd squeak, Mizuno-san practically ran from the room.

A short time later Hajime's older sister, Katsu, entered the foyer with a sleeping Tsutomu in her arms. Eiji followed close behind, dutifully carrying their belongings. Though he had to stifle a yawn he nevertheless appeared happy to see us. An unusually tender look came over the Wolf's face as he took his son into his arms. He smiled as the child unconsciously snuggled closer. My own lips turned up at the sight of them together.

Katsu was slightly taller than her husband. Her features closely resembled Hajime's and she seemed every bit as stern as her younger brother. The woman shot me a cold, appraising glare. "Anou, otouto, you certainly wasted no time finding a replacement for poor Tokio. She seems a bit scrawny. So what brothel did you find her in?" Her tone sounded sweet and conversational in contrast to the nasty words.

I could not restrain the soft growl which erupted from me in response. My hands balled into fists of their own accord and I felt my right eye twitching. The cop merely smirked at her comment.

"Iie, you misunderstand Katsu. Kamiya-san is a respectable kendo instructor here in Tokyo. She has graciously allowed us to board at her dojo and will be seeing to Tsutomu's care from now on so that I no longer have to worry about him being exposed to negative influences. Even if she were disposed to such a profession, it would have been a nicer establishment than the one your ahou husband found _you_ in, I'm sure."

Not giving her a chance to retort, he turned and strode for the door. Eiji and I had to run to catch up with him. Once we were out on the street again Hajime sighed and gave me an apologetic glance.

"Gomen nasai. As I told you before, my family relations are strained. When I was nineteen I killed a man in self-defense and had to flee from home. Since then, she and my older brother tend to judge my actions rather harshly. That is why I wish to avoid thm as much as possible. We may care for and help each other as family, but as people I fear we really do not like each other," he explained with a wry smile.

I nodded and we walked the rest of the way to the dojo without speaking. I could not help thinking how terrible it must have been for the Wolf to leave everything he knew at such a young age. I was only too accustomed to loneliness before meeting Kenshin and the others, so I could easily guess some of what he felt. It irked me that his own siblings refused to be more sympathetic or to let the past stay where it belonged. 

Passing through the gate of my home, we saw the front shouji slid open. A warm light spilled out to greet us. Misao and Yahiko walked onto the veranda with identical expressions of disbelief on their faces as the four of us emerged from the shadows.

"Tadiama! And Hajime has agreed to stay here with the boys! Isn't that wonderful? Misao, could you please help me prepare their rooms?"

"Anou.... Sure.... I can do that," the girl managed to stutter. Yet she continued to simply stand there and stare wide-eyed at the cop as if entranced.

Yahiko growled his displeasure at the Wolf's presence after my words began to register with him. Without saying a word to any of us, he turned and stomped back into the house. His actions snapped Misao out of her stupor.

"What's his problem?" she asked in confusion.

"Hn. Looks like someone is not too thrilled to see me," Hajime commented in his usual sardonic voice.

"Anou, he might as well get used to it, because you're going to be living here for quite some time I imagine," I muttered darkly, frustrated with my students lack of manners. "Come on, Misao. Let's go ready those rooms. Hajime, you and the boys can wait for us to finish in there," I told him, indicating a small room off to the left of the foyer.

With a curt nod, the cop ushered Eiji into the chamber and slid the shouji shut. I took a few steps down the hall, but stopped when I realized my friend had not moved. "Misao?"

"Did you just call him 'Hajime'"? the ninja blurted out her question with an even more incredulous look on her face.

I smiled at her brightly. "Of course! Since he's going to be staying here from now on, I didn't want to be so formal. I thought things might go a bit smoother if we were on a first name basis. He still insists that everyone else refer to him as 'Saito' though."

"Oh, does he?! We'll just see about that!" There was something in Misao's eyes that promised trouble to come.

With a slight shudder, I turned my attention back to the task at hand.

  


*************************

Everyone was up bright and early the next morning. The dojo rang with Tsutomu's delighted squeals when he woke to find himself reunited with his father. Misao took over my kitchen and refused to allow me to help with breakfast. Strangely enough, she had no problem with allowing Eiji to assist her.

With no meal to prepare, I went about my normal cleaning routine. When I stepped out onto the veranda with a broom I spotted Yahiko doing his morning katas in the courtyard. The way he swung his shinai confirmed my suspicion that my announcement from the night before was still bothering him. It puzzled me why the cop's living at the dojo should irritate him so much.

Sweeping the wooden boards clean, I bit my lower lip thoughtfully as I stared at him. Hajime's voice disrupted my musings unexpectedly.

"It's because of the Battousai. The boy thinks my being here means you're replacing Himura and he doesn't like it. He feels that to accept the presence of a man who tried to kill the person he idolized would be the worst of betrayals. Just give him time. This is something he has to come to terms with on his own."

Cutting my eyes to the right, I glimpsed the Wolf sitting on the edge of the veranda, smoking a cigarette. He was keeping a watchful eye on Tsutomu who sat next to him. The little boy was cheerfully playing with some wooden farm animals, oblivious to everyone else.

I sighed. "I suppose you're right. Anyway, I can't change his mind by yelling at him. Gomen, Hajime. I did not mean for..."

The cop shook his head as he cut me off. "Don't feel that way. This isn't a situation you can control. Besides, I hardly care if some gaki has an issue with my being around."

Misao came to the door then and called everyone in for the morning meal. As we took our places around the table, Hajime seemed to notice something was amiss. "Where's the Ahou? I thought he was usually here begging for food by now," he inquired.

No one answered right away. We all averted our eyes from his questioning gaze, unable to voice our fears and pain over Sano's deliberate absence from our lives. The cop's own eyes narrowed at our hesitance.

"What happened?" His tone now demanded an answer.

I finally forced myself to look up. " Sanosuke doesn't associate himself with us anymore. He's returned to being a fighter-for-hire. I think he blames himself for what happened to Kenshin, so he thinks he has no right to be our friend anymore," I sadly explained.

Without a word, Hajime got up and headed out of the room. We all blinked, caught off-guard by his reaction. Jumping up, I rushed into the front foyer just as he was opening the shouji to leave.

"You're going after him?" It was more of a statement than a question.

He spared a brief look over his shoulder. "Hai. It would seem someone needs to knock some sense into the Ahou one way or another. I'll be back in a while." He stepped outside and closed the front shouji. Slowly, I made my way back to the dining area.

***************************

  


"Zanza" was on his way back to the room he rented when a shadowy figured stepped into his path. The fighter-for-hire growled and took as defensive stance.

"I don't know who you are or what you want, and it really doesn't matter to me. You've just bought yourself a fight you can't win. I hope you'll at least be more interesting than those weaklings I beat up an hour ago."

"Ahou," a familiar voice answered in a bored tone. The Wolf of Mibu stepped out into the light, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"Saito?! What the hell are you doing back in Tokyo?!"

"I've come to find out what you think you're doing, Ahou. I trust you've got a good reason for bailing out on your associates?"

"That's none of your business! But if you want a fight, then come on! I still have a score to settle with you!"

The cop plucked the stick of tobacco from his thin lips and tossed it to the ground. He crushed it out with his heel. "Hn. Fine. If that's what it takes to get the answers I want."

Sano did not wait for him to say anymore. He charged at the cop, striking out with his left fist since his right hand had yet to recover from the battle in Kyoto. Saito easily dodged the clumsy effort. Grabbing hold of the youth's arm with one hand, he delivered a quick punch to the gut with his other. The kid made a slight "umph" noise, then stumbled backwards as the Wolf released his grip.

"Shall we go again or will you tell me why you've turned you back on your friends at the dojo?" the Wolf questioned with that frightfully pleasant "Fujita smile".

"Shut up and fight, Saito! I'll knock that stupid grin off of your face, yarou!" Sano snarled as he sprang at his adversary once more. The Wolf side-stepped the blow and immediately brought both his fist down together right between the youth's shoulder blades. This time the younger man staggered a bit and fell to his knees.

"How many times have I told you that you have no chance against me if you won't improve your defense? Now do we continue the torture or do you want to tell me what's going through that thick head of your's? I recall that you refused to stay here in Tokyo because you wanted to help Battousai. Do you think abandoning your friends is 'helping' him? I wonder what he would have to say about your recent actions?"

"I told you to shut up! You don't know anything! Kenshin was right to leave me behind! I was useless to him! I let him die!" The spiky-haired youth rose to his feet and made yet another pathetic attempt to strike the cop.

Saito did not even have to dodge his swing this time. Simply catching the youth's hand with his own, he delivered an upper-cut to the chin. Sano's head snapped back with the contact and his feet left the ground. He fell to earth with a heavy thud. A pained grunt escaped him along with all the air in his lungs. He lay there for a bit, gasping for breath.

True to his nature, Saito did not spare him any pity. "You really are an Ahou. Battousai never thought you were useless. _I'm_ the one who said that. However, you proved me wrong, first when you managed to destroy Shishio's ship and later when you defeated the monk. Battousai never had anything but complete faith in you."

"Then...," he broke off as a coughing spasm took him. It passed and he continued. "Then why did he leave me behind in the first place?! Why did he entrust _you_ to look after everyone?! Because he knew I'd fail at that, just like I failed to help against Shishio!"

"Ahou, he left _all_ of you behind because he didn't want any of you getting involved in a mess created by the people he had served during the war. I was the one who said that you would get in our way. Try keeping your facts straight, alright? As to why he wanted _me_ to look after things, well I think the answer is rather obvious. Battousai knew this is how you would react to his death. He saw how someone else's death had affected you and guessed the same thing might happen again. He tried to warn me, but I was too preoccupied to pay his words much attention at the time."

"Kenshin... he knew that I would...?" Struggling to his feet, Sano stared off into space as he considered the Wolf's words. At last he smiled and bowed his head. "So that's why he asked you to handle things. He was looking out for me again. Kenshin..."

"Anou, if we're finished here, I have things to do," Saito said, turning to walk away.

"Yeah, I guess I should go see Jou-chan and the others. I owe everyone an apology. And Saito... Arigatou," the youth replied, falling into step beside the cop.

"Hn. Whatever Ahou."

Sano growled. "Che! You can't even go for five seconds without insulting me, can you?!"

"Stop making yourself such an easy target," the Wolf advised sagely.

The younger man grumbled under his breath, but made no direct reply. At first he did not wonder why Saito's path followed his own route. It was not until they had passed the way to the local police station that Sano began to feel puzzled about where the Wolf could be headed. He refrained from asking, deciding that the older man probably had lodging on the other side of town.

At last the Kamiya dojo came into view and Sano prepared to part ways at the gate. To his amazement, Saito threw it open, then strolled through the courtyard and into the house without announcing himself. The completely bewildered youth followed.

Kaoru rushed into the foyer with Yahiko and Misao close on her heels. "Were you able to... Sano?!" 

In an instant, the young woman had him in a crushing hug, bruising his battered body even further. Before he could protest, the kendo instructor let go on her own and began to strangle him instead. "Sanosuke, do you realize how worried everyone's been?! How could you be so selfish?! Don't you dare ever do anything like that again!"

"Gomen, Jou-chan! Geez! I swear it will never happen again!" he managed to say as he pried her hands from his throat.

Kaoru was no longer paying him any mind however. She had turned to the cop with a bright smile and shining eyes. "Hajime... I..."

The Wolf scowled. "Don't even think of trying to hug me," he warned before stalking further into the house.

Kaoru got that look on her face that said she was about to do bodily harm. "Hajime!" she said in a low, angry voice as she stomped off after him.

Sano turned to his other friends in confusion. "What's going on around here? Why is Saito walking about like he owns the place? And why is Jou-chan calling him 'Hajime'?!"

Yahiko shrugged, a look of disgust on his face. "Maybe if you had bothered to come back before now, you'd know what was going on and he wouldn't be here!" the boy spat out bitterly before marching out the front shouji to do chores.

"Misao?" The youth turned his questioning brown eyes to the young ninja.

"Kaoru-san has invited Saito and his family to live here at the dojo," she explained as simply as she could.

"Nani?!" Sano's shocked yelp echoed throughout the house. He stood there dumbstruck as visions of being called 'Ahou' till the end of eternity assaulted him. "Perhaps I shouldn't have come back after all," he moaned miserably.

~TBC~

  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. A Samurai for a New Era

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

Note - Thoughts are in italics.

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Chapter 11. A Samurai for the New Era

The murmuring of the summer grass

All that is left

Of the warriors' dream

-Basho

Saito leaned against a tree at the back of the Kamiya Dojo while he smoked. He would never have admitted to such, but he had come out here to hide from the other inhabitants. In particular, he was trying to avoid the Ahou and the Itachi. The two were making a game of referring to him as 'Hajime', knowing full well the familiarity would drive him insane.

He stared up at the branches above his head and watched the morning sunlight shimmer through the rapidly changing leaves. Many of them were yellow now and would soon begin to fall. The cop sighed, his mood somber as it always was when autumn came around. Memories of those final, bitter days in Aizu lay heavy on his mind at this time. It would be worse this year, now that _she_ was no longer with him.

Tokio understood the horrors he had witnessed in his last battles. She had cut her hair and shared in the harsh tasks of caring for the injured without complaint for the blood and filth that ruined her fine kimono. She had taken part in the long, sleepless watches of the night and bravely aided in the defense by covering the enemy cannonballs with wet mats so they would not explode. She had been there with him when the surrender of Aizu-Wakamatsu castle inevitably came. She had seen the bodies of the elderly, the women, and even children who choose ritual suicide over defeat. If not for the fact that she needed him despite her strength of spirit, he too might have committed seppuku.

Knowing his enemies still sought his life, he had hid among the other captured samurai of Aizu under an assumed name. For months he had languished in a detention camp before they were sent into exile on the desolate Shimokita Peninsula. All around him men had perished of hunger and disease or simply lost the will to live, yet he had persevered. The knowledge that Tokio was waiting for him had made him fight to survive.

When he was finally allowed to leave he found a whole different world from the one he had left. Only she was the same. For ten long years she had been his link to that world he had been born into. The world of the samurai. And now that the link had been severed, he felt...lost.

Unconsciously he tossed his cigarette to the ground and crushed it under his heel. Without knowing why he wandered toward the empty dojo, the site of his final battle with the Battousai. Sliding open the door, he kicked off his shoes and stepped into the dark, quiet interior.

As much as he scorned him, the slight redhead had also been a link. Continuing to live his life by the philosophy of Aku Soku Zan was one thing. But to actually _be_ a samurai again - to be locked in a life and death struggle with an opponent who understood the code of bushido - had been indescribable. To have died by the sword of Hitokiri Battousai would have been to die with honor. Now all he had left was an empty, meaningless existence.

A small sound from behind alerted him to the presence of another. Turning about, he saw Tsutomu standing in the open doorway. The little boy glanced around the huge room with a look of awe on his face. As the child took his first steps to cross the distance between them, Saito realized it was the first time his son had ever been inside such a place.

Upon reaching him, Tsutomu raised his arms in a gesture to be held. Smiling just a bit the Wolf obliged, scooping the toddler up and holding him close. And all at once his life no longer felt quite so empty and meaningless. Not as long as he had _this,_ the greatest gift Tokio had ever given him.

*************************

Kaoru was already feeling more than a little ill. Before the meal was even on the table Eiji had vanished into thin air. Sano and Yahiko however hung around to make a dramatic point of announcing they would wait for Misao's return from work to eat. On top of that, Tsutomu took one bite and spit it back out. The child then quite innocently asked for some food to the delight of her tormentors.

After driving the two troublemakers off with multiple lumps to the head, she placated the hungry child with some sweets._ I guess he's just used to his mother's cooking,_ she told herself. Children were often picky that way. Surely her food was not _that_ bad?

Ten minutes later Saito finally entered the room. Glancing about, he raised an eyebrow inquiringly. "Am I that late?"

"Iie. They're just being... Oh, forget it! Who cares about them!" Kaoru grumbled as she set a bowl in front of him.

The cop had already lost interest. He picked up his chopsticks and took a bite of his meal. Unexpectedly he sighed and set the utensils back down.

"Kaoru, I thought you said I was welcome here?" he asked in a serious tone.

She stared back at him in confusion. "Of course you are! Why would you think otherwise?"

"If that is so, then why are you trying to poison me?"

Kaoru's right eye began twitching, but frustration kept her from answering right away. Unfortunately for him, Saito was used to Tokio's silent acquiescence of whatever criticisms he made. When the young woman failed to reply, he turned his attention to drinking his tea in the false assumption she accepted the correction. If he had known her better he would have never turned his back.

**************************

Sano leaned back comfortably in his favorite spot on the front step as he watch Yahiko practice his kata. Suddenly an uproar from within the house made both of them jump.

"Nani?!" they heard Kaoru scream at the top of her lungs. That was followed directly by a noise that sounded suspiciously like someone getting hit over the head with a bokken.

"Itai!" Saito yelped, the timbre of his voice indicating he was more surprised than hurt.

"Baka!"

Sano chuckled softly. "Anou, I guess it's official."

His young friend shot him a puzzled look. "What's official."

"Saito. He's one of us now."

"What do you mean 'he's one of us'?! How could you say that psycho is one of us, Sanosuke?!" the boy demanded, waving his shinai at the older youth.

"Simple. Jou-chan's trying to kill him."

Yahiko snorted. "That still doesn't make him one of us," he muttered, crossing his arms in front of him and turning his face away in disgust. It was infuriating how everyone else acted so calm and unconcerned about living under the same roof with a man who had once tried to kill Kenshin.

Just then an loud crack reverberated through the building. Sano was on his feet in an instant. "What the hell was that?"

"It sounded like something broke," Yahiko replied a bit fearfully. He suddenly realized Kaoru was alone with that yarou cop.

Before either of them could investigate the front shouji slammed open. Saito came striding out of the house carrying a slightly upset Tsutomu. There was a nasty scowl on the Wolf's face as he headed for the gate.

"Oi! What's going on?" Sano hollered after him.

The cop ignored him, calling for Eiji whom he had spotted hiding in a corner of the garden. He paused to give the boy a chance to catch up with him.

"You're leaving?" the ex-gangster pressed.

"I'm just going to get a decent meal. That Tanuki's cooking is lethal," Saito grunted.

The mention of food caused the spiky-haired youth's stomach to growl. He looked at the older man with a sheepish grin. The Wolf narrowed his eyes in response, yet was not even vaguely shocked when the Ahou failed to back down. He had learned the boy was about as stubborn and short-tempered as they came. He knew from experience that type became especially persistent when a free meal was involved. With a groan the cop gave in, deciding it was better to ease the torture of his presence by not having to listen to his endless begging.

"Fine. You can come as long as you can keep your mouth shut. What about you?" Saito asked, turning his amber gaze on Yahiko.

"Hmph. I don't need anything from you!" the boy practically snarled as he spun about to march into the house.

The Wolf smirked at him. "Still don't like me, huh? Anou, that's something I can live with. Tell Kaoru we won't be gone long," he said, then stepped out into the street with the others following close behind.

Grumbling in annoyance, Yahiko went inside to check on Kaoru. He found her in the kitchen, banging herself lightly in the head. 

"Baka! Baka! Baka! How could I be so dumb?!" she berated herself.

"Kaoru? Are you okay?"

"Oh! I'm alright! I just tried to treat Hajime like I did Kenshin is all! My mistake!" she gave a strained laugh, waving off further inquiry. She tried hard to behave as if nothing were wrong.

The young kendo student stared at her in an unconvinced manner. "What was that noise I heard just a minute ago?"

The false smile slipped off Kaoru's face and she cast her eyes down to the floor. "Oh...that... Hajime broke my bokken....," she pouted. That had been her favorite one!

Rolling his eyes, Yahiko left the room. Obviously Kaoru was fine if all she cared about was a dumb practice sword.

***********************

Hajime was sitting on the porch when I stepped outside to watch the sun set. I noticed him working on something with a small knife and figured he was probably making another toy for Tsutomu. The boy sat close by, already playing with a small army of wooden wolves and samurai. The cop glanced up as I approached, his expression unreadable.

I felt my face flush in embarrassment of my earlier childish actions. Modestly lowering my eyes, I bowed in apology. "Gomen nasai for striking you, Hajime. I should not have done that. I..."

"Hn. You're just a young girl with a lot of spirit who's been indulged by every man in her life up until now. I have a clear understanding of the situation, Kaoru. I wasn't angry with you," the Wolf cut me off, continuing to whittle away at the piece of wood he held. It appeared he was making a miniature bokken.

I blinked at his statement, not knowing wether to feel relieved or annoyed with his assessment of my life. All at once the oddity of the last remark struck me. "You weren't angry with me?"

"Iie, I was irritated with myself. I should have dodged that blow," he admitted with a wry smile. "If he were still alive I'm sure Hijikata-san would have made me commit seppuku for that one."

I smiled too as I reflected on how humorous it was that I had managed to catch the former Third Captain of the Shinsengumi of all people off-guard. For a moment I wondered what Kenshin would have thought about the whole thing. Turning my attention to the west, I watched as the horizon burst into brilliant flames of scarlet and gold. It was the first time in months I could truly appreciate the beauty of the closing of the day. It was also the first time I had been able to remember my silly Rurouni without the tears falling.

Hajime of course ignored nature's display in favor of his task. Finished with his carving, he grabbed a piece of sandpaper and smoothed the wood, then applied some oil as a finish. Satisfied with his handiwork, he stood and called Tsutomu over to him.

The two-year-old came running immediately to his father. He eagerly accepted the offered "toy", though he seemed a bit bewildered as to what he should do with it. With an amused smirk, the cop knelt down to show his son how to hold the bokken correctly.

I frowned a bit over this. "Isn't he a little too young for kendo?"

"Aren't you a little too female for kendo?" the Wolf countered.

Sighing, I started to concede the point before his words sank in. "I suppose you know what's best for... Nani?! What do you mena by 'too female', Hajime?!"

He turned to look at me, unwittingly making himself a perfect target. Thoroughly enthused with his new sword, Tsutomu decided to test it out. With a resounding _whack_, the child brought the bokken down on his father's head and giggled at the startled expression that came over the Wolf's face.

Recovering quickly, Hajime gave a small chuckle. "He's going to be a strong swordsman someday," he said proudly, rubbing the boy's head affectionately.

I saw a determined light in the Wolf's eye and somehow I knew what he was thinking. The samurai of the old era were gone forever. Tsutomu would become the samurai of the new one. Of that he would make certain.

~TBC ~


	12. The True Color of Leaves

Tsuki ni Muragumo, Hana ni Arashi

Disclaimer - I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, etc.

Note - Thoughts are in italics.

******************************************************************************

Chapter 12. The True Color of Leaves

Petals I may have once pursued.

Leaves are all my darker mood.

-Robert Frost

  


Saito waited patiently by the front gate of the dojo while keeping one eye on the bathhouse. He knew what he had planned would be considered cruel by most, but frankly he could have cared less. They had brought it on themselves after all.

Someone being disrespectful to him was one thing. However, the continuous string of "pranks" he had endured over the past two days was beginning to try his patience. Having his tea spiked with sake, finding his shoes filled with sand, and waking up to discover his bangs had been braided were not the sort of things he found particularly funny. It was either this or he killed the both of them.

He heard the Itachi long before he saw her. Casually he lit a cigarette as she approached. The girl scowled when she noticed him.

"I thought you had to work, Hajime?"

Ignoring the casual use of his first name, he gave her his carefully planned speech. "I do, but I have a message for you first. Kaoru took a bath and forgot to take a towel with her. I happened to be passing by the window and she asked if I could wait and have you bring her one."

"And why couldn't _you_ do it?"

The cop just raised an eyebrow at this question. Immediately Misao began to blush as she realized her blunder. "Oh, right. Sure, I'll take her one."

"Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm running late." With a curt nod, he walked off down the street at a brisk pace. 

Misao meanwhile ran to find some bath linens. She then hurried back out to the bathhouse, chuckling over her friend's predicament. Having Saito around the place must be driving her to distraction. Knocking on the door, she called out a hasty "It's me!", then entered without waiting for a reply. The next moment she dropped the towels and screamed.

An equally shocked yelp came from the direction of the tub. Sano stared at the young ninja in horror. "What the hell are you doing in here?!"

"Sai-Saito told me.... I mean, I thought.... he said Kaoru..." Suddenly she blushed fiercely. "Gomen nasai!" she screeched as she rushed back outside and slammed the door.

Once there was a safe barrier between her and her less-than-descent accomplice, she growled in rage. "That baka Wolf! I'll get even with him for this!"

"That yarou, Saito! I'll get him for this!" Sagara's voice suddenly rang out from the bathhouse. There was a loud splash, and then only faint muttering from the ex-gangster.

Without realizing it, Misao's lips curved up in a slight smile. She supposed as nasty as the cop's trick had been, there were worst things she could have witnessed.

**************************

New life seemed to have been breathed into the dojo with Hajime's arrival. It was nothing like it had been before, yet I could not complain over what it had become. Though his demeanor was far more stern and his words, when he spoke, were usually cold and cynical, I found some comfort in his presence. And oddly enough, he generally seemed content with mine.

The only two people who seemed at first glance to be truly unhappy about the new situation were Yahiko and Eiji. The two of them quarreled almost continuously. Worse, they seemed to be in competition with one another. They were always attempting to see who could complete the most chores or who could practice their kata the longest. And of course there was the constant stream of insults the youths hurled back and forth.

I was beginning to become deeply concerned over the matter and would have spoken to them if Sano had not stopped me. "Don't worry, Jou-chan. They're just being typical little boys. Leave them alone and I promise everything will turn out fine. Katsu and I were exactly the same at their age."

Reluctantly I did as he suggested and was greatly relieved when it turned out to be the right choice. Upon closer observation I realized that they thoroughly enjoyed these little "confrontations". In face, they actually went out of their way to have to associate with each other. There was only one thing preventing them from openly declaring themselves friends. Their opposing views of Hajime remained a source of contention between them.

Yahiko had practically worshiped Kenshin and remained unable to forgive the man he felt had ruthlessly attacked him. Eiji on the other hand had been taken in by Hajime after his family was murdered, making him exceedingly loyal to the cop. He could not tolerate anyone insulting the person who he now saw as a surrogate father. Naturally the boys often clashed over the issue, yet it never came to blows and each argument was generally soon forgotten.

As for Hajime, he simply ignored Yahiko's frequent outburst against him. Most of the time he behaved as if he did not even know the boy existed. It made me sad, but there was really nothing about it I could change. My most fervent wish then was that they would someday reach some sort of understanding.

  


****************************

Yahiko was outside practicing his kata when Saito returned. The boy snarled at the cop without stopping his swings. "That was a dirty trick you pulled today. Only _you_ would stoop that low!"

With a dismissive snort the Wolf walked past him without a word, a cigarette dangling from his thin lips. What did he care what some gaki thought?

Just then Kaoru poked her head out the door. She smiled brightly when she spotted the cop. "Okaeri nasai, Hajime! Yahiko, your stance is all wrong!" she quickly added as she caught a glimpse of her student. It was apparent that he had once again been ignoring most of what she told him. How could she make him understand it did not matter how hard he practiced if he refused to _listen_ to her and at least try to do it the right way?

"Leave me alone, Busu! I'll get it already!" he declared just as she expected he would. She sighed in exasperation, not wanting to get into a fuss over the subject.

"Not if you continue to stubbornly persist in doing things your own way," Saito's calm, rational voice broke into the conversation. He took a draw on the tobacco and let out a wispy stream of smoke before continuing. "You call yourself a samurai? Hn. _You_ don't have the discipline to be one. Any _true _samurai would _never_ disregard his sensei's words. You claim that you want to be as strong a swordsman as the Battousai, but with your attitude you wouldn't have lasted one day on the streets where he and I both fought. If you cannot even respect your own sensei, then you have no right to hold a sword. You should just give it up right now." Having said his piece, he strode into the house without waiting for the shocked youth to respond.

Finally the boy recovered and exploded in fury. "Why that arrogant...! I'll show him! I have plenty of discipline! I can be a samurai if I want to be! Kaoru? Onegai, but how do you do that stance again? I have to hurry up and get good so I can prove to that baka cop who the better samurai is!"

Kaoru blinked in surprise at the boy. Had he actually said "onegai"? Suddenly she understood the intentions behind Saito's harsh words and smiled. He was challenging Yahiko to prove him wrong, knowing full well how the youth would react. In just a few seconds he had managed to reach her errant student and set him on the right course.

****************************

The next day I wrapped up my kendo class early and hurried to make myself presentable. Tsutomu followed me around, giggling and flailing his little bokken in his best imitation of what he had seen my students doing. After I had washed up and changed into a kimono, I took him by the hand and led him to the courtyard. As expected, Hajime had already returned and was waiting for us by the gate. Picking his son up, he nodded and walked back out into the street with me trailing behind and headed off in the direction of the cemetery.

It was quiet and mournful there that day and the air had turned chilly. Hajime stayed with me until the initial wave of sorrow that always hit me there subsided. Once he was assured I would be fine on my own, he stepped off to give me some privacy. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him take Tsutomu over to Okita's grave and wondered what he was telling the child about his long lost friend.

Eventually the time came to return home. Whispering one final goodbye, I rejoined Hajime and Tsutomu. We walked most of the way in silence. I glanced around and noticed for the first time just how many of the leaves had already changed color. Everywhere I looked the world seemed to be erupting in shades of yellow, red, and orange.

The breeze suddenly grew stronger and I shivered. Unexpectedly, I felt something wrapped around me. I immediately recognized it as the shirt to Hajime's uniform. I raised my eyes questioningly to his amber gaze. "Take it or you'll catch a cold. The fabric of your kimono is too thin for this weather."

"But what about you?"

"I'm perfectly fine. To be honest, I was beginning to feel a bit warm myself," he told me with a smirk. I glanced dubiously at the white western-style long-sleeved shirt he was wearing, but did not argue. I already knew who would win.

Another strong gust of wind came, dislodging some of the leaves and sending the to drift lazily to the ground. Delighted, Tsutomu rushed off to try and catch them. We paused to let him have his fun and I found myself laughing lightly at his enthusiasm.

I sneaked a peek at Hajime and saw he was not paying attention to the child play at all. Instead he stared off at the top of the old maple tree we were standing under, watching it's blood-colored leaves dance like flames in the breeze. "I hate autumn," he said quietly.

I was shocked by his revelation, even if it was not anything very important. He almost never spoke about personal matters to anyone. Hoping to keep the conversation going, I replied at once. "I love autumn. It's my favorite time of the year."

"Hn. Why?"

"The leaves, I suppose. I've always felt there was something special about how they change color. I guess it reminds me of how it is with people sometimes. When you first meet someone, the relationship is just as green as the leaves are in the spring. But as time passes and you get to know them, their true self is slowly revealed. Don't you think that autumn is when the leaves show their true color?"

"No. I think they lose their true color. Time steals away their green. The leaves fade...just as a man's true self fades, leaving behind a mockery of who he once was."

I found myself bristling over his comment. I recalled that he had said similar things to Kenshin that day in the dojo and instantly assumed that he must be speaking of him. "IS THAT YOUR...," I stopped my rant when he glared at me, yet I could not let it go altogether. In a more subdued tone I continued my question. "I...I meant _was_ that your opinion of Kenshin?"

Hajime merely sighed and shook his head wearily. "No, it's not. That's my opinion of myself." Almost too low for me to hear he added, "I despise being a walking tragedy."

Seeing that Tsutomu was now some distance from us, he turned and headed after him. I watched him walk away for a moment. His image wavered as tears stung my eyes.

_Is that what you really believe, Hajime? But why? Is it because you didn't die in the Bakumatsu like your friends? Do you feel like you're tarnished simply on the account that you were lucky enough to -live-? Or is it because they tell you that you're no longer a samurai? That these are peaceful times and there is no use for them anymore? Do you think that your life has no meaning at all without an enemy to conquer? But Hajime, that's just not true at all! Don't you realize that you're important to people? Don't you know that you're important...to me?_

It was such an odd thought. At the time I put it off to the fact that I believed we were fast becoming friends, but looking back now I wonder if it had already started then? In any case, I decided two things very fast. The first was that I would find some way to make sure Hajime never felt that way again, though I had not even the vaguest idea how I would do that. The other was that perhaps I was finally getting a glimpse of the real Saito Hajime. Just maybe I was finally beginning to see his true color...

~TBC ~

  



End file.
